6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
