So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
