I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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