His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
