Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
