On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize