I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
