That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize