Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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