she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
