he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The adults are the big ones right?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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