I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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