he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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