Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
