420 ftw
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
