if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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