return my video game
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
