Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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