I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
tell your sister to shave her snatch
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
