I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
