its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
