So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
