im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
how does that bad decision feel?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize