Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
