i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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