You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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