I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
