Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
