sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize