Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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