So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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