I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He kissed a someone with a penis
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
