why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
