guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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