It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
