omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
