she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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