I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
