I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
