found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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