home. puking in laundry basket.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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