Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
