U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
