Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize