oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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