Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize