Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
