What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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