she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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