around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
