i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize