Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
zippers are such a cool invention
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
