Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
