How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
