how do flat chested girls get laid?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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