I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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