You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
