I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
