its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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