we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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