At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
