who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
