forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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