i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she told me i tasted like america
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Randomize
