it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
