I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
