Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
