So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm always down for nudity.
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