ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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